Other people’s thoughts are not up to us. But whether we value their opinions is up to us.
From Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Do you want praise from people who kick themselves every fifteen minutes, or the approval of people who can’t please themselves? Is it a sign of self-respect to regret nearly everything you do? (8.53)
Care nothing for the praise of men who don’t even live up to their own standards (3.4).
Someone despises me? That’s their problem. I should not do or say anything despicable. Someone hates me? That’s their problem. I should be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them, but ready to show them their mistake—not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way (11.13).
When you face people’s insults or hatred, look at their souls. Get inside them. Look at what sort of people they are. You’ll realize there’s no need to impress them. But you should still be kind to them. They are by nature your friends (9.27).