Is Stoicism bad for men?

Stoics don’t repress emotions, they put emotions into perspective. Traditional masculinity is harmful. Or so says the American Psychological Association. The APA’s blog declares that, ” traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful.” The APA’s claim raises many questions. Is that really all masculinity is? What positive aspects of masculinityContinue reading “Is Stoicism bad for men?”

Dia de los muertos

We would not be here were it not for those who went before us. I was at an October Día de los Muertos event in Arizona when my phone rang. The Day of the Dead is an ancient Aztec holiday honoring those who have gone before us. Historically celebrated in August, the holiday was moved to coincideContinue reading “Dia de los muertos”

Book Review: The Way of the Superior Man

Carrying around a book with a title like this might lead people to think I’m a narcissist. So I leave the book at home. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida has some good points, and some significant problems. It’s billed as a spiritual guide, but I found its spirituality to be over the top. Then again, I’m anContinue reading “Book Review: The Way of the Superior Man”

Male Stoicism, Traditionalism & Progressivism

Stoicism’s core idea is straightforward: you can’t control anything except yourself, so don’t sweat the rest of it. Stoicism appealed to Roman soldiers who had little control over their lives but faced great danger. And some took Stoicism to the extreme of subjecting themselves to great pain without flinching. That’s Stoicism’s dark side. Problem is, emotions happen. RepressingContinue reading “Male Stoicism, Traditionalism & Progressivism”

The Mask You Live In: A Documentary Review

The Mask You Live In is the second documentary by the Representation Project. Mask “follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity.” Released in January 2015, it’s still hard to find in many places. But like its sister Miss Representation, Mask eventually will be available on DVD orContinue reading “The Mask You Live In: A Documentary Review”

Grandma & Rita. Also, Nurse Jackie: Another Mixed Up Not Quite Movie Review

I don’t really write movie reviews. I’ll say I liked a movie without saying exactly why, then I’ll point to something about the movie that made me think, and I’ll go off on a tangent. So bear with me. Oh, and spoilers everywhere. Grandma stars Lily Tomlin as grandma, aka Elle Reid. I’ve loved LilyContinue reading “Grandma & Rita. Also, Nurse Jackie: Another Mixed Up Not Quite Movie Review”

Mass Shootings Are a Gender Issue: But What’s the Right Response?

It seems like mass shootings are becoming more common. I’ve written before about mass shooters being almost all male (though the claim that mass shooters are disproportionately white is false). Today I want to ask if the intersection of American culture and masculinity plays a role. After all, mass shooters are almost all male inContinue reading “Mass Shootings Are a Gender Issue: But What’s the Right Response?”

#MasculinitySoFragile

Bustle says criticizing toxic masculinity isn’t the same as criticizing men. The controversy Jaime Lutz writes about centers around the Twitter hashtag #MasculinitySoFragile. She begins her Bustle article with a fair minded statement: “Masculinity isn’t inherently ‘bad’; neither, for that matter, is femininity. But there are certain brands of both that are toxic.” She then “reminds us how important itContinue reading “#MasculinitySoFragile”

A Response to a Podcast from Boys Cry Too Blogger

Christine Walker, who blogs at Boys Cry Too, recently did a podcast that I really enjoyed listening to. There’s a lot to say in response because this is the sort of thing that creates important discussions. I suggest that readers visit her blog and listen to the podcast to better understand my comments. My commentsContinue reading “A Response to a Podcast from Boys Cry Too Blogger”

Refusing Service: The Latest Is a Barbershop

We all know about county clerks refusing to issue marriages licenses to gay and lesbian couples. And bakers and photographers refusing to provide their services at same sex weddings. The latest is a barber refusing to cut a woman’s hair. But unlike discrimination against lesbians and gay men, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 makes gender discrimination unambiguous:Continue reading “Refusing Service: The Latest Is a Barbershop”