Outrage is driving us nuts

Ever get the feeling that social media is trying to piss you off? Well, that’s a dumb question. Of course it is. In the mid-’90s we actually debated whether this new internet thing would bring people together or further divide us. Well, a quarter-century later we know the answer. Pop culture’s unending stream of consciousnessContinue reading “Outrage is driving us nuts”

Can you be Stoic and compassionate at the same time?

Stoic compassion sounds like an oxymoron. But what if I told you it’s not? Don’t say, “Calm down.” Provide calmness. Ever had someone yell, “Calm down!” at you? Did being yelled at have a calming effect? Of course not. A person in deep emotional distress needs someone to lean on, but if you become tooContinue reading “Can you be Stoic and compassionate at the same time?”

How can I set realistic goals?

Have you ever tried to accomplish something, only to get totally depressed when it all falls to shit? What’s a fella to do? Most of us want to grow as individuals, but we need a plan. And Epictetus has one. Life is like a banquet A onetime slave turned Stoic philosopher, Epictetus said life isContinue reading “How can I set realistic goals?”

Is Stoicism bad for men?

Stoics don’t repress emotions, they put emotions into perspective. Traditional masculinity is harmful. Or so says the American Psychological Association. The APA’s blog declares that, ” traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful.” The APA’s claim raises many questions. Is that really all masculinity is? What positive aspects of masculinityContinue reading “Is Stoicism bad for men?”

She should have her own TV show

The University of Experience teaches more than a classroom. I first heard about Dr. Phil in 2000. I tuned into Oprah’s show on a day off from work. But I wasn’t impressed. I thought, “Deadra should have a TV show.” It’s a ’90s thing I have a baby face. Before I grew a beard inContinue reading “She should have her own TV show”

Being judged sucks

But how I handle it is up to me. Is the author of the Harry Potter series really a transphobe? We haven’t heard a peep from JK Rowling since the Twitter storm erupted just before Christmas. She defended Maya Forstater, a feminist who was fired from a think tank for tweeting her opinion that becauseContinue reading “Being judged sucks”

Stress makes it hard to think

Giving up the delusion of control helps. Driving cross country is a great way to see the US of A in all its variation. And there’s more than one way to do it. East-west comes to mind first, and there’s the northern tier states, the southern tier, and the middle. Then there’s north-south—east coast, westContinue reading “Stress makes it hard to think”

Is gay Jesus offensive?

Don’t take the bait. Being offended is a status symbol of sorts. And giving offense has always been a sport. We might feel offended when we think our social status is being challenged. Or when someone says something that contradicts our self-image. There may be other reasons too. Being offended creates a certain moral status.Continue reading “Is gay Jesus offensive?”

Kindness: Marcus Aurelius

Stoics are not unemotional: they value emotions that make the world a better place. From Meditations by Marcus Aurelius Speak the truth as you see it, but with kindness, humility, and without hypocrisy (8.5). Wash yourself clean with simplicity, humility, and indifference to everything but right and wrong. Care for other human beings. Follow God (7.31).Continue reading “Kindness: Marcus Aurelius”

Why “toxic masculinity” is nonsense

Abuse, not gender, creates pathology. Every day we look at the headlines, only to find bad news. Another mass shooting. Another sexual assault. More abused children. Toxic masculinity. It’s so bad that men are even sitting improperly on the subway (“manspreading”) and expressing their opinions in condescending ways (“mansplaining”). Does that seem to trivialize theContinue reading “Why “toxic masculinity” is nonsense”